


Days in the Life

by VanillaMostly



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Gen, Genderbending, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2084403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaMostly/pseuds/VanillaMostly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...of our favorite undercover Sand Snake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sisters Being Awesome

**Author's Note:**

> Sarella pretending to be a guy in the Citadel is like a dream Westerosi sit-com, I'm surprised no one has done this yet. 
> 
> Don't own!

Tyene’s blue eyes were even wider than usual, and she was not going for the guileless look. “Gods, Sarella, how will you survive? Locked up in a place like that with all those men and you can’t even bed _one_ of them?”

“Who needs men?” Nym sat with her long legs draped over Tyene’s chair, popping a grape into her mouth. “Sar, when you feel needy down there, do it yourself or remember, there’s plenty of pretty girls in Oldtown.”

“Obara would know about that,” remarked Tyene.

“About pretty girls?”

“About Oldtown.”

“Good, because I thought Obara was asexual.”

“Obara, are you asexual?” Tyene called over her shoulder.

Obara just glowered at them from where she was in the middle of training, her spear raised in mid-thrust.

Nymeria laughed. “Careful, or she’ll stab _you_ with that spear.”

“Our dear Obara can be quite ill-tempered,” agreed Tyene.

Sarella sighed, lifting the book from her face, which she had been using to block the sun’s glare. “Will the two of you be quiet? I swear you don’t know the definition of a _secret._ ”

“Oh, really?” retorted Nym. “Who’s the one who told Father about me and the Fowler twins?”

Sarella rolled her eyes, reaching for a grape herself, ignoring Nym who playfully swatted at her hand. “I can too keep a secret.”

“You better, or else it’d be—” Tyene made a slashing motion at her neck.

“Or worse,” said Nymeria. “They’d make you a laughingstock. The biggest joke in Westeros.”

“I know, I know. Who do you take me for?”

They were quiet for a little bit, just watching Obara spin her spear in the air. Tyene motioned for the maidservant to pour them more wine.

Nym waited for the maid to leave before leaning close to Sarella. “So what have you prepared so far?”

Sarella knew her sister was not asking after books and parchment supplies.

“I’ve got a vest from my mother, the same one she uses to bind her chest. My voice is already low enough, but there’s a recipe with dried lemon zest to make your throat husky.”

“And your moon blood?”

Sarella looked at Tyene. “I was hoping you’d have something for that.”

Tyene flashed her angelic smile. “Maybe I do.” She swirled her wine cup around. “I’ll give it to you, but be warned. You can’t miss a dose, and without moon blood you won’t know if you’re pregnant.”

“I’ll try to keep pregnancy out of my plans,” said Sarella dryly.

Nymeria wagged a finger. “Don’t be snarky, Sarella. You know we’re just looking out for you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Nymeria winked.

“Come by my room later,” she said. “You can’t leave without my goodbye presents, either. I’m not letting my little sister be surrounded by scummy men empty-handed.”

“They search you before you enter the Citadel.”

“Oh,” said Nym, licking the wine from her lips, “they won’t find these.”

 


	2. Thank Seven for Pate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pretend the Citadel has roommates!

Pate had gotten a very strange new roommate.

Alleras was up early in the day, and went to bed late at night. He was a hard worker, that was for certain; Pate rarely saw Alleras not studying. Actually, the only other thing Alleras did, besides eat and sleep, was play with his bow and arrows.

One day Pate came back to the room, feeling down, because he’d done nothing but sweep up raven poop that day and watch some stupid sailor from Lys flirt with Rosey all night. Pate wanted to just crawl into bed and sulk. When he reached to push open the door, however, he found that the door wouldn’t budge.

The door had no lock on it—the Citadel believed in an open door policy—which was why Pate was bewildered. He gave the door another shove.

“Pate?” asked a voice from inside.

“Alleras?”

From within the room came some shuffling sounds. “Hold on.”

A few moments later the door opened, and Alleras stood on the other side in rumpled bedclothes. The room was dark. Alleras, for once, must have decided to go to sleep early.

“Door got stuck,” he told Pate.

Pate nodded, moving inside. “We can tell someone to fix it tomorrow.” He was much too tired to do anything about it today. He sat down on his bed, beginning to take off his shoes.

Then he frowned.

“Does it smell like soap in here to you?”

Alleras sniffed. “No?”

Pate thought he smelled it, though. Fresh, clean soap, but not the kind that scrubbed floors. More like the smell that Rosey had on her warm skin and long hair, a dimly sweet scent.

 _Maybe it’s Rosey’s smell, then,_ thought Pate. He slumped down onto his pillow, sighing with thoughts of Rosey. Tomorrow he would bring her flowers. Daisies were her favorite. Then she’d forget all about that Lyseni sailor…

\--

Sarella listened as her roommate began to snore. Only then did she breathe in relief, running a hand through her still-damp hair.

 _I’ll have to find another place to wash myself,_ she thought.

In the meantime, she thanked the Seven that her roommate was Pate.


	3. Green Boys

Leo Tyrell boasted that he’d been sneaking off to the brothel and came by to taunt them into going with him. Pate hated Leo and he didn’t think going to the brothel was right. Besides, Pate loved Rosey. But when Leo laughed at Pate and said even whores wouldn’t sleep with a pig boy no matter how much gold you paid them, Pate got too angry. He found himself saying _yes_ , if just to wipe the smirk off of Leo’s face. It only made Leo laugh harder.

After Leo left, Pate could only wallow in his misery.

“What’s wrong?” asked Alleras. “Are you afraid of getting caught? I’ll cover for you, don’t worry.”

It wasn’t the fear of getting caught that preoccupied Pate, though.

Armen was more understanding. “Pate’s scared of the whores.”

“I’m not,” said Pate, most lamely. None of his friends seemed to hear him anyway.

“Why? Whores are just women. Women aren’t so frightening,” said Alleras, with a slight twitch of his lips.

“They are if you've never… you _know_ ,” said Mollander.

Alleras turned his onyx eyes on Pate. Pate’s ears burned red.

“I haven’t either,” said Alleras.

All of them stared at him.

“But—girls like you,” said little Roone.

Alleras just shrugged.

“This brothel,” he said, with a casual air, “I think I’ll go, too.”

Alleras was indeed the Sphinx, impossible to figure out. Pate looked at his friend in confusion, but mostly, he had to admit, he felt better knowing that Alleras was also green and would be coming with him.

\---

The brothel was a foul place, Pate was unsurprised to discover. It was hot and damp in there, and smelled like sweat and liquor and pungent perfume. The whores weren’t even comely and most of the customers less so. Leo had lied; as long as you had money, even a pig on four legs wouldn’t be turned away.

Pate averted his eyes as a couple began their activities right in front of him. Alleras, however, merely looked interested.

“See any you like?” Leo asked, sniggering. He’d already paid and returned with a blonde hanging on his arm.

Pate wanted to run away, but he couldn’t do it with Leo right in front of him. Alleras barely spared Leo a glance as he walked up to the madam.

“I’ll have two girls for me and my friend,” Alleras told the madam, like he was buying fruit. “The prettiest you have.” He held out pieces of silver between his fingers

“Anything for you, sweetling.” The madam gave Alleras a smile that made Pate’s skin crawl, but Alleras was unfazed.

Pate was growing more and more in awe of the Sphinx. Meanwhile, Leo’s expression was most worth it.

The two girls the madam brought over probably _were_ the prettiest. Nothing compared to Rosey, of course, but they were young and slim and the shorter one had a nice smile, Pate thought.

The shorter one caught his gaze and her nice smile grew bigger. “Come with me, m’lord,” she purred in his ear.

Pate looked at Alleras, who just nodded.

The rest of the night felt like a bizarre dream.

\---

Sarella made a new friend that night.

The girl named Berry was delighted at hearing Sarella’s story. “I can’t _believe_ it,” she said in hushed amazement. “No one knows?”

“Not yet.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Berry said solemnly.

Sarella thanked her.

“I have another favor to ask of you,” Sarella added on an afterthought.

Berry looked apprehensive until Sarella whispered in her ear. Then Berry giggled and clapped her hands.

\---

Leo Tyrell awoke not on the warm bed of the brothel, but on the cold pavement of the street. Without his breeches. _Did I really drink that much last night?_ He wondered.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ideas are most welcome, since this is all I can brainstorm so far. xD


End file.
